BBT Magazine

The Descent (2005)

Urbpan — Wed, 14 May 2008 00:36:50 +0000

BBT critic Jef Taylor goes spelunking for a good horror movie and gets more than he bargained for!

With Dog Soldiers, director Neil Marshall proved that he can scare the crap out of us with really foolish looking wolf masks. Imagine what he could do with the very real life scariness of exploring, and getting trapped in, a cave. There wouldn’t even have to be monsters in it for it to be really terrifying. But there are.

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FFCEpsilon: Royally Screwed by Gordon Weir

Gregory Adams — Sat, 10 May 2008 15:36:30 +0000

“I’m not sure how long I can go on like this,” Chuck said into the phone.

“Poor you,” Camilla said. Camilla was always sympathetic. She wasn’t real- she was a sympathy program, a Turning Test trained to be empathetic and supportive. If looks didn’t matter, and if the company that owned her didn’t charge so much per minute, Camilla would have been the perfect woman.

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The Fly (1986)

Urbpan — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 23:06:15 +0000

BBT’s film critic Jef Taylor’s column has spoilers this time around! Fortunately, you’ve probably already seen the movie.

If you work with animals, or food made of animals, or trash made from food made from animals, now is the time of the year to start dealing with flies. At my job I’m charged with purchasing and providing many different fly control products to different animal caretakers. I’ve even been making an effort to identify the different fly species that are found in my region. I’ve gone a little fly crazy, which is why I’ve finally decided to watch David Cronenberg’s The Fly.

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Musings #12: Lost- The Best Show You’ll Sound Like a Re Re discussing.

Gregory Adams — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 00:23:23 +0000

Now, I love me some Lost, and my wife and I have been watching ever since we got the first season from Netflix. We own the first 3 seasons now and Tivo season 4 with a passion. After watching each episode, I run to the PC to check out the AV Club T.V. Club, where the series is discussed.

Like any fantasy with a rich mythology, there’s an entrance fee for Lost. You have to pay your dues by watching the show to know what people are talking about. And like any fantasy with a rich mythology, you sound like a certifiable lunatic who enjoyed lead-paint chips as a child when discussing same. Here’s some actual posts from the message boards:

"I’m not willing to go with the theory that Ben enters a secret stone door in his barracks house to teleport to the Sahara in 1995.

How, while traveling through desert with only the clothes on his back, and a telescoping beating stick, would he be able to [orchestrate??] collect the intel on Nadia’s murder. Why would recruiting Sayid in the future be a priority for dealing with the mercenaries on the island today?"

This works for BSG, Dr. Who, the list goes on.

FFCEpsilon: New and Improved by R. L. Williams

Gregory Adams — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:13:20 +0000

Joe poked at the blob sitting on his desk with a pen.

It gave a little, but otherwise seemed fairly innocuous. A pink-y / flesh-tone-y… well, blob’s the best he could describe it… gelatinous? Almost. Solid? Kinda. Non-descript? Yes! That’s the word to describe this thing that was sitting on his desk with a wire sticking into his computer on one side and a helmet attached to some cables on the other.

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Musings # 11: Yoda, Peacemaker

Gregory Adams — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:11:46 +0000

I was reading Wookipedia the other day- the Star Wars Wiki that some of you are hearing about for the first time and are now beginning to doubt the existence of, but I have proof- and I read that the reason Yoda was in tight with the wookies was because he had negotiated a truce between the wooks and the trandoshians- those alligator-skinned slavers represented by the bounty hunter Boskk in ‘Empire’ and the Mattel action figures line.

Now this was interesting to me because if you know anything about trandosians it’s that they are badass wookie-pelt collecting motherfuckers. I couldn’t imagine a deal Yoda could make with them that didn’t end with them getting more wookie pelts, but then it came to me that maybe Yoda isn’t the tiny green Ghandi we take him for. Maybe Yoda had to go a little Scarface on the lizardfolk to make his point. That led to the possibility of what a Yoda strong-arm job would sound like. I think it would go something like this:

“Sign the treaty you bitches will, and grateful you will be. Fucking around you think I am? Fucking around do I look like?” (Force chokes one of the ambassadors to death) “Leaving here with signed treaty or new luggage I will be. Now fucking it you will sign!” (Ambassadors sign treaty) “Good bitches. My coat bring me. Back here I don’t want to come have to. (snaps fingers to Jedi posse) Roll now we will.”

Also, Flash Fiction Contest Epsilon is still underway- the topic is Sex, the guidelines are on the Guidelines page, so write entries you will!

FFCEpsilon: Holy Holly by D.S. Knight

Gregory Adams — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:17:31 +0000

Christine and Michelle held hands as they waited, barely able to contain their excitement. They had waited for this moment for a long time, and now, with the company finally going public, their dreams had come true. They were currently sitting in a deliciously decorated waiting room packed with people who could not wait to try the new product "Gender Lender."

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The Beast in the Cellar (1970)

Urbpan — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 22:19:34 +0000

Movie reviews with BBT critic Jef Taylor

It’s a familiar story. The black sheep of the family is bricked up in the basement for a few decades, but inevitably escapes. The trail of savage, animal-like killings will eventually lead to the ruin of the family. Can we expect a happy ending?

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YOU have the power!

Gregory Adams — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 15:12:10 +0000

Hay hay hay-

It’s no secret that real Life can clog up the works of even the most beloved website, and that’s what’s been happening at BBT lately. Editors keep having babies, contracting salmonella and starting small businesses. This has led to a decline in content, but it does not have to mean the end of BBT! YOU, the reader, have the ability to provide us with content every bit as exciting, sophisticated and meaningful as anything any of the editors have ever posted here.

I speak of course of our Flash Fiction Contests.

We are currently running Flash Fiction Epsilon, our 5th. I’ve just posted our first entry and it is brilliant. Read it, be a part of the magic, then submit your own effort.

1000 words or less. The topic is Sex. Make it sci-fi, horror or fantasy, and make it funny. See the guidelines page for more.

Imagine. Write. Submit.

Be somebody.

FFC Epsilon: Dickhead by Alexander Hay

Gregory Adams — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 15:07:53 +0000

Dear Morris,

It’s been fun, but I think it’s time we parted company. The last 18 months in particular have been far too painful to bear, and you are no longer the man I was surgically attached to.

It was so much better when we first met. Remember when you came to and found me sitting up to meet you? I never thought I’d see a man weep tears of joy, nor a nurse immediately try to seduce a patient. Yes, I know he was a bloke, but you’ve got to take the credit where credit is due.

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